Failure is not death

Mourning a “celebrity” does not = lack of “consciousness.”

And sometimes, the death of someone we feel like we knew, but we never actually touched, triggers pain about the death of people we knew well.

We are on a brief pilgrimage here, reconciling life and death.

Love well.  - Bernice King

These words came from a tweet by Bernice King, the daughter of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 

I haven’t had many words to describe how I’ve felt since I heard about the tragic death of Kobe Bryant, his daughter and the other families they were traveling with but then I read her tweet and it really started to get at some of the thoughts and feelings I had. My heart goes out to those families directly affected and impacted by this tragedy. My heart also goes out to those grieving their personal loss and to whom this may be a reminder. 

In full transparency, Death has been close to me in the last few years. I’ve lost more loved ones than I care to. I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t impacted me. It isn’t lost on me the finality of death and the hurt, sorrow, and pain of those who of us who are left here to mourn. But I do want to encourage you to consider the words of Bernice King, that we are on a “brief pilgrimage here” and if we are still here that we have an opportunity to Love Well. The pain, sadness, hurt, struggle, the failure  you may be feeling and experiencing is evidence of Life. That you are able to feel because you are alive and we have another opportunity to Love more and Love well. Love ourselves, Love our work, Love our family and village. I encourage you to Feel more and feel it to heal it.

Fuel - How do we shut up and create?

1. Love Well…

   1. Our time is Brief

   2. Start with loving yourself well.

   3. Invest in showing loving yourself. 

   4. Loving yourself is loving your family, your community, and ultimately the world.

2.  Accept failure–Failure ain’t failure it’s a lesson

   1. You have to accept failure in order to begin the process of fixing it or healing it.

   2. Everyone who is human has experienced failure. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

   3. Failure is a human experience we all go through at one point or another.

   4. Have a growth mindset of what can I learn from this “Failure”

   5. What to do? Iterate, pivot, Adjust.

3. Failure is not Death it is not always final

   1. It’s natural to have emotions related to disappointment. It’s okay to feel

   2. Emotion and feeling is evidence that you are alive and get another opportunity to try again. 

   3. I have failed a lot and will continue to fail. Part of the practice is not allowing that failure to define you.

   4. The mistake we make myself included is taking on the identity of the narrative our minds tell us sometimes based on the events and traumas that have happened to us. ‘I got angry, or I failed and now I am a failure.’ Not So! There is a better use of our imagination.

Peace, Love, and Shea Butter.